Accepted

How exciting to read that word on the letter I received from Gateway, a missionary training school I’d recently applied to. Now it was official. I was going to the small school located outside Vancouver, Canada. I had a departure date, January 17^th. The next step is visible!

For the past 6 months, ever since I got back from Mexico, I’ve felt very impatient and a little lost. I’ve started my missionary career, but now I’m stuck back at home? I’ve enjoyed being involved in my home church again, especially being a leader for the youth group, but I know this isn’t where I’m supposed to settle down.

Leaving Mexico was very hard. I remember walking to practice one day, about a week before I left Monterrey, thinking about how counter-productive I was being. As a missionary, it’s my job to adapt to my new culture, to make new friends, to live out my faith despite the awkwardness of it all sometimes. I dove in, and I fell in love with Mexico. Now that my time was up, was I just supposed to sever all those relationships? Most people understood, I was going back home. They said kind things to me, prayed for blessings for my future ministry, and said adios. What about me? How to I reconclie the heartbreak I felt?

I had read books and gotten good advice about how to be a good missionary and adapt to my new surroundings. No one had prepared me for the extreme anxiety attack I got before I boarded my plane home (that had nothing to do with a fear of flying). Or the confused feeling of “What am I doing here?” I would get after realizing that I was waking up back in LA, after dreaming of my futbol chavos, tacos con chorizo, and the mountains of Monterrey.

I think these are the reasons why, after being ‘home’ for 6 months, I’m updating my blog for the first time. Writing these words signifies that my life in Mexico is really over. I have to move on. Get ready for what God has in store for me. Although it’s been difficult closing the last chapter of my life, I’m excited for the new challenges missionary training school will bring. After 6 months of being ‘in-between jobs’, I’m more than ready for the next adventure!

Project Serve

From March 13-20 a group of eight came from Canada to serve JPC Mexico. My job title was 'Cordinadora', which meant planning the trip before they got here, and basically running the show the whole week. I was also the translator for the group, since none of them spoke Spanish very well. I had never done anything like that before, besides the experience I have from being on short term mission trips. I was really excited for the responsibility, and I had so much fun!! Although it was stressful at times, and I hardly ever had a moment to rest, it was a wonderful adventure in which I was blessed and learned a few new things.

The group consisted of 4 youths and 4 adult leaders. Each morning we worked at a church for a few hours; helping to stucco the Sunday school room and paint practically everywhere else. After lunch we held a sort of VBS childrens program where we performed a skit each day and provided a simple art activity that included a verse which related to the story in the skit. In the evenings we visited a few of the teams from our 'futbol' league. Two evenings we visited the team that I coach, Mirador.


It was so awesome to witness the Canadian youths interacting with the Mexican 'chavos'. Even with the language barrier, I was able to see relationships forming. Speaking of language, that was also a blessing. In just a few short days I noticed that most of the group was easily picking up common phrases and trying to learn more. It was also a blessing for me to interact with the adult leaders on the trip. I get so excited when I have the opportunity to receive wise advice from those who´ve been doing ministry for longer than I have.

Corn Soup and Conversation

Right this instant I feel very full. A few minutes ago I finished off a bowl of 'crema de elote' accompanied by toast and a good conversation with my host mom, Celia. We talked about family mostly, and a bit about her military career. She's retired now, but spent over 20 years serving as a social worker. If you met her you'd be able to tell right away she had military background. She's strict, firm, has a no-nonsense attitude, a proud stature, really good posture, and ready to give out her expert advice, about anything. I think God was making a joke by putting us in the same house. Someone up there is laughing.

The first week or two that I was living here I was a bit afraid of her, but eager to adjust to her rules. That enthusiasm faded quickly when I realized how many rules there were. As we've gotten to know each other, most things have gotten less awkward. I'm learning more and more how to make her happy. Like when I clean my room. That's right mom and dad, I've finally learned how to keep my room organized! You can send Celia your thank-you notes.

Sometimes I still need to remind myself to be patient with my 'mamasita mexicana'. It's a rare occasion when I can tinker around in the kitchen without her giving me advice about how to cook something, or the correct way to wash out a pan. A few weeks ago after I got home from a futbol practice I was a bit hungry and decided to make myself a scrambled egg. That's all I wanted. One scrambled egg. As I was preparing my snack, Celia came in to offer me something to compliment my mini meal. Ham? No thank you. Cheese? No, just want an egg. Avocado? That's about the time when I glanced over and realized what was doing. She was standing in front of the fridge with the door open, offering me everything we had. No thank you. No, really, this is fine.

I know she's doing it out of love, and I feel silly sometimes complaining. Thankfully we've been able to establish a good relationship that's more than just tenant/hostess. I've discovered she has a silly side too. One night Taly and I were coming home late (though not too late, I have a 12am curfew), therefore entering very quietly so as not to wake up Celia. As we were shutting the door behind us, Celia stepped quickly from around the corner with a "Boo!". She totally startled me, but after I got over my momentary shock, I almost died of laughter.

This is just one of the relationships that I've formed here. Even though I still have about two months left, I've found myself thinking almost daily how much I'm going to miss Monterrey when I leave. Guess I need to be thankful for the time I still have and make the most of it!

A Perfect Rose

It's Wednesday, 9pm. I just got home from practice with the Mirador team. My feet hurt from the half hour walk and my nose is red and running from the cold. Why is the first thing I'm doing updating my blog? Because I want to share about a wonderful blessing that I received tonight.

Chuy, who's my co-coach, couldn't come tonight because he has exams this week. Running practice "sola" is always a challenge. The first time I was by myself I almost gave up halfway through. It's hard to get the kids to listen. Even harder for a female foreigner who isn't an expert at futbol. Tonight because it was so cold I knew that only a few of the chicos would show up. I didn't mind it, in fact it's easier to control them when it's a smaller group. Also, I had a plan.

I told them that we would only practice for about half an hour, but that we would practice "duro" (hard). At the end of practice those who were behaving well would get a prize. A prize that I kept secret until the end. My plan worked, it was a great practice! They were all training hard, and I didn't have to repeat myself too much. I have a newly established "three strikes you're out" policy and unfortunately one kid did get out, but there were 5 others that reaped the reward.

Before I told them what they had won (I know you're dying to know too, patience) I gave a little message. Each practice I share a bit about the bible in some way, and then we pray. For the month of February we're learning about respect. Last week we discussed self-respect, and this week the topic is respecting authority (a lesson they desperately need to learn). I shared with them 1 Peter 2:16-17. As I was talking, an old man walked up and offered me a beautiful, perfect rose. I was really confused at first, and didn't take it right away because it reminded me of how some gypsy women in Spain would trap tourists into paying to get their fortune read. Anyways, the man told me, "My wife and I wanted to give this to you because we heard you teaching these boys about God".

Isn't that awesome!?! I was so touched. After saying 'gracias' and finishing my lesson, I announced that I would be buying all of the chicos tacos (my new favorite food!). They were very pleasantly surprised, they had thought it would be something small like a piece of candy. Walking down the street and waiting for our orders gave us a chance to just hang out and have fun. Even though they give me grief sometimes, those chicos are really growing on me.

I was smiling most of the way home, thinking about how my life is full of wonderful blessings. When I looked at the rose I got the funny idea that God was asking me to be his valentine. Inviting me to continue working with him, for him. Have more amazing adventures.

The answer, of course, is yes.

Ministry

I coach futbol every night of the week, except Friday. Back in November I suggested to Jose Carlos and Pancho that I could teach ultimate frisbee on Fridays to one of my teams. They both thought that was a good idea and we agreed that I would start when we got back in January. Jose Carlos encouraged me to start a frisbee team in the Mirador neighborhood, since it's closer to my house and I can walk there. Also, it's one of the poorest neighborhoods we work in, and a lot of kids there grow up on the street because there's no one to look after them.

So at one of our first futbol practices I announced that I would be there on Friday to start a frisbee team. A few of the chicos seemed interested. When I showed up at 6:30 on Friday none of the guys from the team were there, but there were a bunch of little kids playing around. I started talking with them, and soon we were throwing a disc around. Half an hour later 3 guys showed up to play frisbee. What could I do with only three? So I invited the little kids to come play with us. They were super excited. Juan, one of the older boys, didn't appreciate having to play with "kinders".

I had an awesome time! The kids were respectful and listened to directions. That's something that the Mirador futbol team rarely does. When I was leaving all the kids asked when I would be back. I told them that I'm there coaching futbol to the big kids twice a week. Adrianna, one of the most outgoing asked, "Can Monday and Wednesday be futbol for the big kids and Friday be games for the younger kids?" I told her maybe, but I had actually had the same exact idea!

However, yesterday I was thinking about skipping game time. Now, I know that sounds shocking, "Kendelle didn't feel like playing with little kids!?" It wasn't the game time, it was more the 30 minute walk there and back home I was thinking about. I had already had a long day. All of this week and last week I've been helping Gris with the sexuality program, "Yo Me Espero" (I Will Wait). I've enjoyed having something to do in the mornings, even if it means getting up early. Ok, it's not that early, but still. After we present the program to a middle school, I teach her and Giezi English. Yesterday we had an extra long English class and then went downtown for some tacos, they're my new obsession!! I was treating Gris and Giezi because they've been kindly providing me with lunch for the past two weeks.

So anyways, I was tired and thinking about just going home. But then I gave myself a little pep talk, "Even if just a few kids show up, it will worth it to them. I told them I would be there, I don't want to let them down, they get enough of that from other people in their lives. Why do I think it's ok to skip this? Because it's not technically part of my job? Yes, it's a bit above and beyond, but I've made the commitment. What do I think ministry is? Just following a job description? Being a missionary is about making sacrifices!"

When I got up to the field where we play, a few girls came up to me, all excited, "Kandy!!". One of them gave me a piece of chocolate, then the other two ran off to bring me candy too. Then Brian, who's five, came sprinting down the street, "Kaaaaaaaaaaandy!!" and jumped in my arms, literally. At that moment I felt so blessed, and a little guilty for thinking about ditching them. I was so glad I went, and promised myself I would be there every Friday. On the long walk home, I was thinking about how it's funny that this isn't the ministry I came to Mexico to do. However, I have the best time with them, and actually feel like I'm making a difference.



P.S. Recently Jose Carlos named Giezi as the new Director of Monterrey, so he could focus more on his responsibilities as the national director. Please pray for Giezi and the rest of the team during this transition.

Esfuerzo!

"El da esfuerzo al cansado, y multiplica las fuerzas al que no tiene ningunas"
-Isaias 40:29

(now in English for all you 'gringos', jajaja)

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak"
-Isaiah 40:29

This is a verse that I taught both of my futbol teams back in November. Now practically every chico has it memorized, and I quiz them on it every other practice or so. I've recommended that they meditate on the verse during a really hard practice or game. Last Tuesday I was running practice with Real de Mines, and we were doing a round of sprints. Mike was falling behind, and I was trying to encourage him to finish strong. Mike is one of the most dedicated team members; shows up for every practice, always on time. However, he has really low self esteem and sometimes gives up on drills if he's in last place. He's also is hesitant to try new things. I had to beg him to learn how to throw a frisbee!

So as I was trying to cheer on Mike, Pablo was flying through the sprints. Pablo is also very dedicated to the team, and he's also one of our best players. As he was about to lap Mike again, he grabbed him by the shoulders, leaned in and said, "El da esfuerzo al cansado Mike!"

Pablo was using the verse I taught them to inspire his teammate! It was such a heartwarming moment. Probably my best ministry moment to date here in Monterrey.


p.s. Happy Groundhog Day!!!

(because I just happen to be posting an update on my favorite holiday)

Christmas in Guatemala, sort of

Not gonna lie, December was kind of a tough month for me. On December 10 I set off to El Salvador with 6 others for a youth conference through Ebenezer Ministries. Ebenezer isn't exactly a denomination, more like a group of sister churches. The main one is in Guatemala City, but they have churches in Chile, Unites States, and of course Mexico (the church I go to here in Monterrey is an Ebenezer church). The trip down was supposed to take 2 days, but ended up taking 4 because of car trouble. I recorded a video diary of that trip, hopefully I'll figure out how to post that, but here's a few highlights: spending 2 sleepless nights in the van, getting my foot run over because the driver thought I was already in the car, witnessing the tow truck which was helping us break down, not brushing my teeth for about three days, waiting for hours to cross the border.

The four days at the conference were pretty cool. The resort we were staying at was beautiful, right on the beach. By the way, December in El Salvador feels like July in California. I had to really focus to understand the messages, but it wasn't too hard. They're Pentecostal, so worship was a bit different than what I've experienced. However, once I was familiar with most of the songs, it was really fun to dance and jump around!

After the conference five of us stayed in Guatemala City until January 6th for winter vacation. For about half of the time we were staying in Jose Carlos' sisters house, the other half in a lake house a little bit outside of town which is owned by the Apostle (the pastor of the main church).

Sometime during the first few days in Guatemala was when I found out that Ebenezer doesn't celebrate Christmas. I already knew that it wasn't such a big deal to most of the people I know here, but I didn't know that some of those people are against the holiday. So this, coupled with the fact that this was my first Christmas without any family made me a bit homesick. I've always bragged that during the four months that I studied abroad in Spain I was never homesick, so I figured that six months was going to be my next record. Not so much. However, being homesick only once in two months isn't so bad. The funny thing is, during the last week or so in Guatemala I started feeling homesick for Monterrey, especially for my 'hermana' Taly. She had gone with us to the conference but then went back to Mexico.

Another reason that I was having a tough time was because for a month, I was adjusting to life and culture in Mexico; then I had to adjust to life in Guatemala. I think it was a bit too much for me. Also, a month is a long time to live out of a suitcase and have to go along with whatever the group is doing everyday. All that to say, I was beyond ready to be back in Monterrey.

However, despite the challenges, I did enjoy my time in Guatemala and received many blessings. One of which was connecting with the church where Juan Pablo goes (Jose Carlos' brother). They celebrate Christmas and I was able to go to their Christmas Eve service. Also, I meet some American missionaries that work with Orphan Resources there. They invited me to go with them to visit an orphanage on the 24th to pass out Christmas presents. That was probably the biggest blessing I received. To meet the workers, orphans, and watch them as they opened their presents was beautiful. Not to mention being able to hang out with Americans for the first time in almost two months. Even despite the fact that they weren't from California, I mean, no ones' perfect!

Now I'm back in 'mi casa', ready to start work! This weekend we have our general assembly, during which I will be translating for staff coming from Youth for Christ headquarters in Colorado. Next week we start futbol practices again. Despite feeling like I need a vacation to recover from my vacation, I'm super excited to see all my chicos again and get back into routine.