Getting Fired and Going on Vacation

For a year and a half I ran an afterschool program. I worked part-time for a non-profit at a LAUSD elementary school. I loved my job. I had 30 students, grades k-5. The program was free for families since the school was in a low-income area and I felt like I was actually making a difference for these kids. I had a lot of creative freedom and got to practice my Spanish with the parents who didn’t speak English. We had story time, I helped with their homework, we had a prize store and every Friday I announced 3 Super Star students. I had a wonderful program assistant who ran art club and helped me stay sane. We built a garden and grew basil, cucumbers, chard, tomatoes, and eggplant.

Then I got fired. For no reason. Seriously, like I wasn’t told I did anything wrong, or ever given a warning that my job might not be secure. My boss, who made the decision, had my supervisor tell me the news after our Christmas party. I was devastated. This job was my passion, my ministry. These were my kids! What made it worse was that I had to wait through the 3 weeks of winter break before I could say goodbye to my students.

Saying goodbye to the kids.

When I went to say goodbye, I also informed the school administrators, who were very shocked. About a week later, I get a call from my former supervisor who told me our boss wanted to offer me my job back. Whaaaaaaat?!? See, I told you I got fired for no reason. I tried to get in touch with my former boss numerous times to get some sort of explanation, but she never responded. Now there are some other facts that I became aware of about my boss and how she was running the non-profit which led me to realize she was dishonest, and a little shady. I did think for a day about going back for the kids, but ultimately I knew I couldn’t work for someone who I couldn’t trust. I’ll be honest, turning her down took off a lot of the sting of getting fired. Although I think the students really get the short end of the stick.  I miss them every day.

I’ve been working part time as an English teacher to international college-age students for about two years. While I enjoy it, I’m going to look for a full-time job. Before I do though, why not get out of town for a bit?

So I’m headed to Monterrey, Mexico for 3 weeks! I lived there for 6 months back in 2009/2010 and I’m so excited to visit all my friends there. Hopefully I’ll be able to partake in some ministry with the organization I worked with, Youth for Christ.

Destination: Haiti

I've been on lots of mission trips before. I know the routine of packing, boarding a plane, the awkward excitement of being in a completely new place, thinking, “Is my outfit appropriate? Should I take out my tongue piercing?” On Saturday, July 14^th I left for a week-long trip to Port-Au-Prince, Haiti. But this time it was a little bit different. I had someone with me. I wasn’t going with a church group, I was going with my boyfriend. Not only was this Tinzy’s first mission trip, but his first time out of the country!

Ready for a Haitian church service!

 Going on a mission trip with Tinzy was a wonderful experience. We were blessed to see each others giftings and skills while also being stretched outside our comfort zones. We were challenged but kept a positive attitude and encouraged one another throughout the trip. We also had the opportunity to witness each others cranky, jet-lagged side (always a fun time for couples!).

Some of the kids I met during VBS!

 Tinzy and I worked with an organization called Adventures in Missions, who have been running short term trips to Haiti for years. We ran a VBS 3 mornings, our guys helped with construction 2 days, we went on several prayer walks and visited an orphanage.  Tinzy was especially impacted from one of our longer prayer walks when we were challenged to allow God to lead us and prayed for people throughout the neighborhood. I had the chance to help lead VBS and plan out activities and games, which was really fun! I shouldn't have been surprised when I was told the first day we would need something planned by the time we reached the church (only a 15 minute walk). Thankfully, another young woman and I were able to plan out a puppet show, recruit volunteers and have one shaky rehearsal before we were called to the stage!

Tinzy and I with our crew: Sofia, Vivian, Allison, Jessica, and Christiana

Along with our group of about 30 Americans, comprised of church groups and a few couples and individuals, we had 6 translators who were with us for every activity. They were the Haitians we got to know the best, and even heard some of their experiences after the earthquake in 2010. It's always an amazing change of perspective when I'm able to talk to someone who's lived through events I've only heard about. Rony told us about how he was in a university classroom when the earthquake hit and the next thing he remembers is waking up outside, finding out later he was one of 10 survivors from the building where 90 others died. Even now, as people are recovering from hurricane Isaac, I've been checking facebook to make sure my new friends are safe.

Tinzy helping build a wall by passing buckets of concrete

Coming home from the mission trip I felt encouraged, revitalized. More on track with learning who Jesus is, and what he wants for my life. It was great to refocus on ministry, and confirm for myself that I want to live out God's love everyday. As Tinzy and I look ahead to what God has in store for us, we will be grateful for the blessings in our lives and ready for the challenges which are present in every adventure.

Curve Ball!

"Whatever happened to Kendelle? Didn't she go to missionary training school? Hasn't she been back from South Africa awhile? Where will she go next? Who's that guy in her facebook pic?"

Those are very good questions. Yes, I completed missionary training school (got a fancy certificate to prove it!) and have been back in LA since August. Around September I started working 5 days a week as a nanny for my god-daughter Emma. She's a few months over two now and just plain adorable. I've also rejoined the leader team of the youth group at my church and am ministering to the high school girls.

When I came back in August my plan was to apply to a mission organization for full-time service. That's the road I've been on for some time. However, I made the decision to stick around this time-zone for a bit. The story of how I came to this decision is very similar to a dramatic, drawn-out soap opera, but I will try my best accurately summarize it for your benefit.

When I was 14 and a high school freshman I met a guy named Tinzy. We were both on the cross-country team and liked each other pretty instantly. We did our fair share of flirting for the next few years and would randomly cross paths throughout college (even though we went to different universities). We tried dating once a few years back and decided to try again in 2010, a few months before I left for MTS in Canada and right before he was leaving for Marine boot camp. Things went well. In fact, way better than either of us were expecting. However, because we were heading off in different directions, we did the adult thing and parted amicably.

Fast forward a year later, fall 2011. I've returned from South Africa, he's finished with extra training and only has to report in once a month since he's in the reserves. We both agreed that the whole 'not being together' thing wasn't really going well. We tried it, for a whole year, but it just wasn't working out. So we gave up. We've both realized that over the past decade, God has brought us into each others lives many times. Though we've had many different experiences, we've grown and matured into ways that compliment each other. We've decided to set out together for lifes adventures!


Which brings me to the latest bit of news: This July Tinzy and I will travel to Haiti to be part of a week long relief mission trip, through Adventures in Missions! Not only will this give Tinzy experience with missions and exposure to a different country, but it will give us a chance to work together doing ministry. I'm super excited and will keep you all posted as we prepare for our trip!

Sometimes Missions is...

As my internship came to a close and I headed back to Gateway for a week of debrief, I contemplated all the experiences I had and what I had learned. This list is a way for you all to see glimpses of my adventure. The more time I spend on the mission field, the more I realize that being a cross-cultural missionary is much more than a "job", it's a lifestyle. It demands every part of me; physical, emotional, and spiritual. I must be ready for the unexpected and open to what God wants to do through me, because although most times the work can be very fulfilling, sometimes missions isn't fun or easy. Sometimes missions is...

• washing dishes
• organizing a never-ending closet full of donated clothes
• breaking up a fight, "musani ukulwa!" ("don't fight" in Zulu)
• letting my dinner go cold in order to serve others first
  
• ignoring obnoxious boys tapping on the window while trying to lead a bible study
  
• sharing my testimony with a group of strangers
• admitting my sin and seeking forgiveness
• waiting
• being prepared to pray at a moments notice
• submitting to my leaders

• experiencing a relationship evolve from "someone who lives in a homeless shelter" to "friend" to "sister in Christ"

• teaching games to a group of homeless Zulu men
• getting made fun of or judged because of my country
  
• giving away my clothes, because others need them more
• not complaining (even if I had a "right" to)
  
• being embarrassed because I know I'm not pronouncing Zulu words correctly
  
• listening without judging
• using all my patience while trying to communicate effectively through a culture and language barrier
• feeling helpless
• passing out bread in the rain
• saying goodbye, which is sometimes the hardest part.

Culture Palooza!

During my classes at Gateway, whenever we talked about cultural adaptation, I've always thought about it in terms of mine vs. theirs. Two cultures colliding in my life. However, my actual situation is much more complicated. My field supervisors are Koreans who have been in South Africa for 7 years. I’m living with a 3^rd generation Indian woman who raised three colored children. (The term ‘colored’ is completely pc here). I’m working in a Zulu township most days and partnering with a mostly white church.


So when I had to answer a Gateway assignment question, “How are you adapting to the culture?”, my first thought was, “which one?”


Having dinner with Jane, her kids and her grandson.

Growing up in LA has given me experience living in a diverse community, however my current surroundings are diverse in a whole different way. Firstly, the Zulu people have their own language. Now it’s easy to argue, “Well in LA you have different neighborhoods with communities that speak different languages”. True, but that culture and language is being imported from another country. Chinese, Mexican, Korean, etc. Those communities have roots somewhere else. Here there are Zulu, Afrikaans, and Colored neighborhoods all within one city. They all speak different languages (although most people do know English) and have cultural backgrounds. However, their roots are right here in South Africa.

The apartheid era wasn’t that long ago and it seems like the city is still very racially segregated. However a lot of these aspects lie under the surface. I'm constantly learning new traits about life in South Africa, specifically in the province of Zwazulu Natal. Being a cross-cultural missionary requires constant observation. It's an adventure of learning!

Self portrait in my backyard.

Being Used

Why me?

That question rolled around in my head while tears ran down my face as we drove back to Pinetown from downtown Durban. I felt overwhelmed and a bit confused. I had only been in South Africa for about a week, and my first real day of 'work' was coming to a close. There a variety of ministries I'll be helping with, one of which is visiting shelters in downtown Durban one evening a week.

I really didn't know what to expect as we split into groups after praying at a local church and headed off to the different shelters we'd be visiting. Tina, who was in my group and has been visiting that shelter for almost two years, handed me a bag of sandwiches to hand out. With no other instruction, I introduced myself to a thin young Indian woman standing in a nearby doorway, holding a toddler who was eating one of the sandwiches I had passed out.

I soon learned that Denise has lived in shelters for 3 years with her daughter and her boyfriend. When I ask her what life is like living there she mentions, "I don't usually come out and talk to people...and I don't let my daughter play with the other children. If she gets into a fight it means a conflict with the other mother. There's a lot of drugs and other bad things that go on here. I want to stay away from that."

This is surprising because in under an hour she basically told me her life story. Her Hindu family have disowned her because she got pregnant with her boyfriend, who comes from a Christian family. She became a Christian a few years ago but doesn't have a bible. Her boyfriend's family has had money troubles, which caused them both to drop out of university, and eventually move into a shelter. They're saving money to move to Johannesburg by September, in order for their daughter, Liandra, to be enrolled in a preschool. Denise also invited me to sit on her bed in her tiny room, and offered me a cookie while Liandra showed me her few toys. We delightfully discovered that we're the same age and after sharing with her about my life and what I was doing in Durban I ask, "You mentioned that you normally don't talk with people, so why have you invited me in and been so open about yourself?"

"I don't know, I could just tell that you were a good person. We just clicked, I felt comfortable talking with you", she says.

Soon it is time to go. I pray for her, and promise to visit her next week. As we reunite with the other groups Tina mentions, "I've never even met Denise before, she always has her door closed. God used you to open that door!" After praying and singing a few songs, the ministry leader asks one person from each group to share. Tina demands me to talk and as I speak about meeting Denise my emotions get the best of me and I struggle to get he words out.

I've always prayed for God to use me, and I'm happy that he did. It's very humbling. I feel special that somehow I could form a friendship so naturally with someone who was actually cutting herself off from everyone around her. I wasn't planning on trying to break down any barriers that night. I didn't really have any expectations for myself at all. I know that I'm no better or 'holier' than anyone else who's visited that shelter.

Why me?

I may not understand why God gives me the honor and privilege of doing his work, especially in cases like this. Although as long as He wants me to, I pray that I will be willing and ready to be used by Him.

Let the adventure continue!

Initiate Internship Immediately!

It's time to pack! I need to fold clothes, sort through papers, take pictures down from the walls, and check under the bed for renegade socks. It's time to say goodbye to students that aren't returning for debrief and pray together one last time. On Thursday I will fly home to LA and spend a few days visiting with family and church friends. Then on Monday, April 18 I will board a plane again, for a much longer flight!

All the students and staff of Gateway


36 hours later I will arrive in Durban, South Africa, ready (or not!) to begin my 3 month internship. I will be assisting two long term missionaries in their work with a local church, specifically in children's ministry. A good portion of my time will also be committed to learning Zulu, which is the local language (although most people also speak English). In order to effectively apply what I've been learning from the classes here at Gateway, I will be required to turn in weekly assignments as well.

With my internship inching closer, I'm getting more excited and nervous by the minute. I'm looking forward to being in South Africa, to experience all the wonders of an unfamiliar place. To smell, touch, taste, hear and see. To learn how to pronounce 'ngiya bonga' correctly ('thank you' in Zulu). However I'm also worried about going through customs, collecting my bags and trying to find whoever is picking me up. I'm concerned about what it will be like to be a single white woman in a male-dominated society that is 79% black. I won't be able to blend in much! I'm afraid of unintentionally offending someone or having trouble communicating effectively. What if I get sick? What if I don't make friends? What if I don't like the food? What if someone steals my lunch money?

With all these upcoming challenges, I know that I need to take a deep breath, pray, and have faith that Jesus has my back. That doesn't mean that everything will be perfectly easy, but it does mean that my God will love, support, and guide me through every step of the adventure!